1. |
Mother's Day
03:09
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piss the bed again last night
frozen to the sheets and fearing sunlight
I'm never unafraid of how it ends
I'll just grit my teeth at intervention time again
who am I to you
if none of this was ever true
I know there's so much I could say
but I don't call on mother's day anymore
she can answer for her violence to her god
she can handle my silence if I can handle the rod
boiling alive to say that I'm okay
tried so hard to piss it all way
so of course the phone goes cold another mother's day
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2. |
Recurrence
01:37
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I dreamt the house on Belvedere Drive
a familiar sound swallows me alive
while the sun falls out the sky
I dreamt the house on Timmons
where I met a ghost yet to be
connected to that spit of earth
umber as my sleeves
I came for the cornbread
I came for the greens
I came for the neckbone
I came for the beans
I came for the memories
buried in the yard
I came to leave and leave so far
but in my slumber
I return
I return
I return
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3. |
Vanishing Grove
02:31
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4. |
Don't Say
03:31
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and papa don't know what mama don't say
and everybody's fucking at the end of the day
and baby don't know what their folks don't say
cus they don't wanna think about the role that they play
and papa don't know and papa don't ask
and mama got the whip and the hood and the mask
and I'm so fucked
my father lives in VR
he couldn't see very far
into the life I was living
into the place where we are
I see a tower of man
walking a bleeding land
I see him shouting there seething
something he can't understand
and papa don't ask, and mama don't say
and everybody's fucked at the end of the day
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5. |
Belvedere Drive
02:39
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6. |
Timmons
03:23
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7. |
Scar
02:02
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my body remembers long before my birth
a scar inside my mother's mother's
mother's mother's mother
to stave the curse,
she drains the worth
from mother's mother's
mother's mother
and so on they will hurt each other
knocking children to the earth
my mother's mother's mother
and she will not recover
save to make her suffer
my mother's mother
now, my mother
to curse me and my brother
but I refuse to hurt another
I am cursed a scar of a scar
of a scar, and so far
it lives beyond it's grave
that scar left by the whip from the master to the slave
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8. |
Skin
02:56
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Draped in magnetic hide
pulling bullets toward me
in umber sleeves, I bob and weave
but few seem to believe, they say
"it's high fashion, not high mortality
I see no abnormality, no brutality
don't lie to me"
well if you want my threat, come take it
but if you ain't born dead, it's hard to fake it
we were taught to hate this skin
yet we watch those without it
with thirsty eyes pretend that they do
you wanna walk and talk like us
but you don't wanna die for it
and lucky for you, y'all never do
you can play dress up all you want
and take it off when you get tired of it
and believe me you will
because the moment we demand
the space we deserve, you will remember
who you really are
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9. |
PTSS
01:52
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10. |
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11. |
7.12.2019
02:55
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12. |
Orange Blossom
03:30
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13. |
Overgrowth
02:36
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14. |
Fresh Squeezed
01:57
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Zantilla Waterloo, Iowa
Zantilla is a digital fusion project by composer/multi-instrumentalist Adrian Shegstad.
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